Don't Write Angry...

...although I do it often...I also write when I'm depressed, it helps get it out, both the anger and the depression.

I've been wanting to write a lot lately, just getting myself to sit for long enough is the problem, I am easily distracted...

Most of what I write, whether it be angry or depressed, is about love. I find myself less and less hopeful, and just unable to enjoy those moments with the person I'm pursuing...I was talking with a good friend yesterday, and he was telling me he feels nothing when he's been involved in the few relationships he's been in lately. I would have to agree, I feel nothing. I go through what I think are the normal motions, but really who am I kidding? I feel like a sociopath, I pursue women so they will like me, but I never do anything beyond kissing them really, it's like I'm a tease...and when I get bored, which is quickly, I move on...

It all started after my 8 year relationship, and my inability to have an intimate relationship with anyone, and after an incident last August, involving a beautiful redhead, my trust in women went downhill, not that I had a lot to begin with, but what remained is now gone...so, did this lead to my current sociopathic belief? Perhaps, but is it just revenge? For all the crap I've had to take from women throughout my life?

My current mindset will hopefully not determine my future relationships, but it's getting to the point I can't even hangout with long-time friends, because I'm so bored, such dribble pours from their mouths, it's disappointing really...they don't care about bettering themselves, or their world...I wonder if they can see their own cages?