I Heart Slurpees!

My World

2010-12-16T10:50:00.000-08:00

My world is hate, My world is violence, My world is judgment, My world is pestilence, My world is pain, My world is anger, My world is jealousy, My world is bored, My world is work, My world is antagonistic, My world is hunger, My world is passion, My world is lust, My world is predator, My world is drunk, My world is deceit, My world is lies, My world screams, My world whispers, My world suffers, My world burns, My world destroys, My world conquers, My world shames, My world degrades, My world punishes, My world breaks, My world cries, My world stabs, My world defies, My world slays, My world poisons, My world fractures, My world aches...My world is nothing...

Of Mitochondria and (Wo)men

2009-10-13T19:47:00.000-07:00

Well...where to begin?...not the beginning actually, after the beginning perhaps...so, the middling maybe...is that a word? Oh well...
So, I've met someone, someone fantastic, and beautiful, and smart, and funny...we met at school, as I am upgrading right now at OC here in Vernon, and so is she...she's much better at it though...(lol).
I think I am doing well, or at least acceptable in school...next semester is going to be the tough one...but I don't have to do it all at once, I can take my time...As the Rolling Stones once said, "Time is on my side, yes it is."

The other day, I had a discussion with a friend of mine about what is racism? This was preceded by a mention by me about all the black lead singers in metal bands lately, or in general. Now, we discussed the usage of specific fact related things, like if someone asked me, "hey, do you know where I can find so-and-so?" And to this I reply, "he's the black guy over there," would probably not be considered racist. Just using his uniqueness in a very white town to be specific. Now, using the black lead singer analogy, am I being racist by pointing this out? Are black lead singers of metal bands not as good? Or just rarer? Am I pointing out a, "awww, good for them," pity type racism? Not that it matters what colour skin you have, just as long as you're a good singer, to me. The point is, am I being racist by pointing out these singers as black, when I wouldn't point out that a singer is white? It is just assumed I guess, and is this assumption the racism itself? Time and answers will tell...

Happy People Are Hiding Something

2009-06-30T03:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I wasn't programmed right, like there's a bunch of information out there that everyone else knows, but I somehow missed that day of class.
I get the strangest looks from people when I tell them I don't own a car, never have, it's like I just killed a baby in front of them, or I'm some sort of immigrant that doesn't know the ways of Western culture. I would be the first to admit that I am the least "socially trained" person I know. Not that I lack class or culture, I just don't give in to the "this is the way things are supposed to be" bullshit that pervades our culture. Example; if a man chooses to stay at home with the kids, he's considered lazy, unemployable, a gigolo at the far end, or just not a man, but if a woman stays home to look after the kids, she's considered normal. Now, I know I'm glossing over thousands of years of male-dominated society stuff, and women were the primary care-givers for thousands of years, but it seems we've never left that sort of mindset, even in our supposedly "modern" age. Now, I realize this is a very broad and generalized statement, and doesn't apply in all cases, but if I don't own a car, does that make me less of a person? Yes! According to society it does. If I choose not to pollute the only mother we have, does that make me a loser? Yes! Again, according to society it does. Because I don't want a credit card, or a cellphone, does that make me a bad person? Yes! According to society it does.
When did we lose the idea that judging someone by their character, instead of their possessions, become the norm? Or has it actually always been the norm, and we just say shit to make ourselves feel better about our own selfish lives.
I hangout with new people all the time, and it seems people, more and more, are walling themselves off, especially gender wise. I feel like there are two clubs, men and women, but you can't belong to both according to society, you have to choose one. But since 90-95% of my friends are women, I have to choose the Women's club. So, when I talk to people, whether old friends or new, and I tell them most of my friends are women, their first question is always, Are you gay? Now, it's not usually asked in a negative context I should point out, which is wonderful and the subject of a later post hopefully, but out of curiosity. But why the question in the first place?
Does a man have to be gay to hang out with women? Is this a reflection on a media driven society? When I state that no, I am not gay, the questioner almost seems relieved, which brings up why, again, are they relieved? but I'll leave that alone for now. I should state that I am not gay, just for the record.
We are satisfied that if everyone has their role, then we can progress. Which is a wonderful thought, but can't people have multiple roles within their own "worlds" without being labeled as anything but "human"? I grow orchids, I like to cook and bake, I like classical music, I like to get people out of their comfort zones at parties, just to see how they react, and if they learn anything about themselves by their reaction, I like fashion, I like musicals, I like antiques, but I also like sports, heavy-metal and punk, getting dirty, shooting guns, drinking beer, going to the strippers, working on and looking at vehicles, building things in general. Why should I limit myself from any above activities, based on my gender and sexual preference? Is it fear that drives these people? Then who is really the pussy now? You are!!!
It seems like in our pursuit for equality and progress, we've actually drawn more lines in the sand, created new categories for things that shouldn't exist, and are actually going backwards in progress, but this time it isn't a group of Neo-Nazis, Homophobes, or religious fanatics, it's normal people that are the problem, every god damn one of you!!!

Don't Write Angry...

2009-06-13T10:07:00.000-07:00

...although I do it often...I also write when I'm depressed, it helps get it out, both the anger and the depression.

I've been wanting to write a lot lately, just getting myself to sit for long enough is the problem, I am easily distracted...

Most of what I write, whether it be angry or depressed, is about love. I find myself less and less hopeful, and just unable to enjoy those moments with the person I'm pursuing...I was talking with a good friend yesterday, and he was telling me he feels nothing when he's been involved in the few relationships he's been in lately. I would have to agree, I feel nothing. I go through what I think are the normal motions, but really who am I kidding? I feel like a sociopath, I pursue women so they will like me, but I never do anything beyond kissing them really, it's like I'm a tease...and when I get bored, which is quickly, I move on...

It all started after my 8 year relationship, and my inability to have an intimate relationship with anyone, and after an incident last August, involving a beautiful redhead, my trust in women went downhill, not that I had a lot to begin with, but what remained is now gone...so, did this lead to my current sociopathic belief? Perhaps, but is it just revenge? For all the crap I've had to take from women throughout my life?

My current mindset will hopefully not determine my future relationships, but it's getting to the point I can't even hangout with long-time friends, because I'm so bored, such dribble pours from their mouths, it's disappointing really...they don't care about bettering themselves, or their world...I wonder if they can see their own cages?

A Little Update...

2009-05-13T12:01:00.000-07:00

...So, two days left in my course, it's been a long journey, self-discovery, sleepless nights, sleepless days, beauty in death, beauty in life...and making friends and professional relationships...

I'm currently pursuing the beauty that is the female form, don't want to say too much, don't want to jinx it, but you could say I'm twitter-pated...Ah...love, such a beautiful thing...especially when it's yours...

In other news, I've been accepted to OC in the fall for upgrading this Fall, so that I can take Bachelor of Science the following Fall...so excited, but I'm gonna be tired, and have no life for a long time. C'est la vie...

Three Evils (Embodied In Love And Shadow)

2009-04-22T17:43:00.000-07:00

Across the floor in the hand of where we drove the drill
A cautious ear to the mouth of your confession
Think of all the things we put him through
In the face of his god would he tell the truth?

Still recorded were the words that dribbled out his kiss
When eyes go blind in this man of what could once become
Sever the limbs off his torso in sleep
And burn what remains so the world may now see
No longer...will we wait for your answers
Back to the hell where you've come from
Think of all the times you've once had
Write them in a letter that says "goodbye"

You'll listen to reason while you're face down in the dirt
You'll stomach the hurt and break for him here just how much he's worth

Slowly discarded were the remains of his lonely youth
Among the alley where the dwellers scare to notice
Picture a young boy in pieces and streets with leveled malfunctions
No name to be called redeemer
We'll fix him restore him...with the love is no other
Think of all the things you did before
Write them in a letter that says reborn

You'll listen to reason while you're face down in the dirt
You'll stomach the hurt and break for him here just how much he's worth

Following you across the interstate walking away...I'll fire on
Following you across the interstate walking away...I'll fire on
Following you across the interstate walking away...I'll fire on

On the wrong way out
On the causeway to neverwhere
On the wrong way out
On the causeway to neverwhere
On the wrong way out
On the causeway to neverwhere

Dear my friends in the time we've spent forever
after beyond this when will our nightmare ever end?
Dear my friends in the time we've spent forever
after beyond this when will our nightmare ever end?

Pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...
Pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...
Pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...

Forever you will, forever you will learn[3x]

By Coheed and Cambria

Fleeting...

2009-03-03T05:00:00.000-08:00

We are not rock stars,
We are heroes to millions,
And just like modern morbid prophecies,
We're too good to be true.

-Dano

At times like these, I like to go to where I feel comfortable, where the rituals are familiar. I can't seem to face this reality, nor the next. It all just reminds me of suicide, or rather, the moment just before. The anticipation, of wonder, of pulse-moment-pulse. Seems like it never ends, these moments. The only ones I like are the laughing ones. Always laughing, making it seem ok for a while. Fleeting. Feet pounding pavement, and pulse pounding head. The music of obscurity, that no one will hear, except for the safe ones, the ones without homes. One step, another, faster, until breathing is all I am, and can be. Then it's ok, for a while. Fleeting. Muscles ache, and shake. Gotta lift one more time, maybe then I'll be different. Maybe then, I'll like myself. Maybe tomorrow, maybe never...

The Dream

2009-02-03T10:31:00.000-08:00

by In This Moment

Lavender clouds
Nothing matters here
Flying above
The ultraviolet sphere
And I will not look down

I am falling down the rabbit hole
Come so come with me and float
Into the never ending dream

We see God
In the morning sun
Touching the moon
Our birth has just begun
And I will not come down

I'm falling down the rabbit hole
Come so come with me and float
Into the never ending dream

Click here to watch '11-in_this_moment-the_dream'

A Quick One...

2008-10-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

...Which is a very funny song by The Who...but anyway...

A little update is in order...

I am enjoying school, I have a 94% average so far in my course. The instructor(Lynn) likes and trusts me so much, I get to be the instructor on rare occasions. The other day, I got to give the test to some people who didn't do so well, while the rest of the class did the day's lesson. Anyway, enough ego stroking...

If you're like me, and enjoy music a lot, check out Rise Against's new album Appeal To Reason, it's a gem, if you like punk music that is. If you liked their previous album, The Sufferer And The Witness, you'll enjoy this one.

Here's their first single off Appeal to Reason for your listening pleasure.

Click here to watch '01---re-education-through-labor'

Snuff

2008-09-02T14:18:00.000-07:00

By SlipKnot

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...

So if you love me, let me go.
And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care. I can't destroy what isn't there.
Deliver me into my fate- If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you...
My smile was taken long ago/If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart, when you refused to fight

So save your breath, I will not hear. I think I made it very clear.
You couldn't hate enough to love. Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend. Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a saint
My own was banished long ago/It took the death of hope to let you go

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away- You're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
My love was punished long ago...
If you still care, don't ever let me know
If you still care, don't ever let me know...

Click here to watch 'snuff-20'

You Show Me A Murder, I'll Show You A Smile

2008-08-24T10:48:00.000-07:00

By Dano

I love you all,
And I hate you all.
It's just the duality,
Of my personality.
It's nothing personal.

(Chorus 1)

You show me a murder,
And I'll show you a smile.
I hope you don't mind,
If I leave for a while.
I thought I was ready,
To take a chance.
But you're just not ready,
For some fuckin' romance.

Waking up,
Making up,
For lost time.
This chance to make it a crime,
To really fuck it up.

(Chorus 2)

You show me a murder,
And I'll show you a smile,
I hope I don't mind,
If you don't talk for a while.
I thought you were ready,
To take a chance.
But I'm just not ready,
For some fuckin' romance.

(Outro)

You show me a murder,
And I'll show you a smile.
I'll show you a murder,
And you'll show me a smile.
What you lack in love,
You make up in style.
Now I'm gone,
You've done me wrong.
Don't try to make it up to me,
It'll fuckin' take a while.
(Repeat Chorus 1)

Maybe Beautiful

2008-07-24T14:24:00.000-07:00

By Dano

Maybe beautiful is what you are,
But we didn't get a chance,
To go that far,
And all that's left,
Doesn't feel like theft,
Anymore.

Maybe we didn't try that hard,
And maybe we couldn't,
Let down our guard,
To get past our own fears,
Trusting in the power of tears,
Down our cheeks.

Maybe it was beautiful,
And maybe it was just delusional,
To think of us,
As more than what we are,
When we couldn't get past ourselves,
And all the dreams we put on shelves,
For later use.

Starving All Your Friends

2008-07-22T22:26:00.000-07:00

By Envy On The Coast

Thanks a lot.
I've been disadvantaged from the start.
He constricted the veins heading straight to my head,
Rerouted the blood to my heart instead.
Rerouted the blood to my heart instead.

I am braindead,
Think in strictly in blues and reds.
Oh I'm in enough trouble man...
Oh man, I'm in trouble again.
Cause everyone's ears are watching me,
But I never, ever felt that this would be
Anything more than a makeshift personal IV.

I fall three times as hard.
If it's for nothing at all
You all seem twice as tall as I will ever be.
And I feel terribly small.
When my head works too hard.
When you think with your chest,
There's not a thing that you don't see.

I'm hardly capable of half the damage that I would like to do.
I could swear that I don't care,
But you know I'm too full of shit to think this through.
So Look at me,I pray to God
But curse too much to be considered true.
I'm just like me.
So who the hell are you?

I'm but a boy,
Just like the rest of these thieves.
And I borrow phrases, from dusty, faded, record sleeves.
The story is the same.
I've just personalized the name.
But if it's all you need,
Then I'd be more than happy to confess my shame.

I know you think you know,
But these eyelids are windows that shut you out
From all the things that I don't want you to know.
And I refuse to tell you one single secret I own.
'Cause you'll find I'm petrified of your eyes.

I'm hardly capable of half the damage that I would like to do.
I could swear that I don't care,
But you know I'm too full of shit to think this through.
I've read the book,I prayed to God,
But cursed too much to be considered true.
I'm just like me.
So who the hell are you?

Click here to watch '09-envy-on-the-coast-starving-your-friends'

Cellar Door

2008-07-22T00:18:00.000-07:00

by Escape the Fate

We walk through the doorway, heard you calling from the hall
To find you in the bedroom not breathing at all
I drag your body to the cellar where we lay, the wax it melts away,I kiss your face...

Now we are starting to love you more
Your body's on the canvas I painted on the floor

[Chorus:]
Now you wait, like the drug, like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, how it hurts in the worst way, now that you're gone, it's so wrong, it's so wrong....

If I could take you somewhere, I'd take you to the darkest place,
Scatter you in art forms, admire the whore
Beauty in different ways, your hands on picture frames
Your eyes in the glass wear your face as a mask

Now they are starting to love you more
A gallery of your beauty, no charge at the door

[Chorus:]
As you wait, like the drug, like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, how it hurts in the worst way, now that you're gone, it's so wrong, it's so wrong....

And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes
I lost control your face is pale, your body's cold
And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes
I lost control your face is pale, your body's cold

[Chorus:]
Wait, like the drug, like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, how it hurts in the worst way, now that you're gone, it's so wrong, it's so wrong...

It's so wrong.....[x8]

Click here to watch 'escape-the-fate---cellar-door-73'

Amaranth

2008-07-13T12:05:00.000-07:00

By NightWish

Baptised with a perfect name,
The doubting one by heart,
Alone without himself.

War between him and the day,
Need someone to blame,
In the end, little he can do alone.

You believe but what you see,
You receive but what you give.

Caress the one, the Never-Fading,
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow,
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth,
In a land of the daybreak.

Apart from the wandering pack,
In this brief flight of time we reach,
For the ones who ever dare.

You believe but what you see,
You receive but what you give.

Caress the one, the Never-Fading,
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow,
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth,
In a land of the daybreak.

Caress the one, the Never-Fading,
Rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow,
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth,
In a land of the daybreak.

Reaching, searching for something untouched,
Hearing voices of the Never-Fading calling.

Click here to watch '03-nightwish---amaranth'

A Letter To Myself

2008-07-08T03:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Self,

It's been a while, a year in fact, since we had this heart-to-heart. It's been quite the year, from suicidal dreams, and rock-bottomness, to relationships ending and beginning. You've gained some friends, and lost some, renewed some, and discontinued some.
Right now, I'm proud of you. You've taken to bettering yourself, even more than I expected. You're working towards a goal, and although it may not be truly what you want, it's a goal, and a good one.
You enjoy life again, and that could not be said for the last year or so. You have learned when to trust, and when not to. You have learned when to talk, and when to listen. Even though sometimes it feels the world is against you, you've learned to smile at a world that doesn't care.
Your truth and honesty, sometimes to a fault, have left you stronger. Sometimes the people around you can't take this honesty, and they walk away to console undeserving egos, but you know they know, and one day will be just like you.
Your infectious laugh and charm, and good sense of humour, disarm and entertain even the hardest of souls. Perhaps one day you can love again, as you know you can, and as you know you deserve. Your love and pursuit of knowledge, even in the face of people who don't care, and wall themselves off against the world, is a love worth having. Your love of music, as your one true passion and your reason for not being dead yet, is the one drug you'll never stop pursuing.
I wish there was a way to fix some of the wrongs, done by you, and done to you, but I can't.
The only regret I have, is not having any. This is your strength, use it, and give it to others.
This is truly your love, the love you give to others, doesn't matter if it's returned, it may never be. It stands alone. As you do.

Update...

2008-06-22T12:05:00.000-07:00

So, I have been accepted to the Resident Care Aide program here in Vernon. I start in September, and end in April. I am very excited, I am glad to finally be going somewhere in my life. This is shaping up to be a great summer too!
Anyway, more to come...

A Little Update...

2008-06-19T08:39:00.000-07:00

...since all I've been posting are songs and poems.
Well, I have another job now, working at a flooring supply company, which is very labour intensive, but good.
Today, I have an interview with a school counselor, to discuss my options for going back to school. I hope that I can be able to, at the very least, find out what would suit me best, and go from there.
Lot's of travel plans this summer, mainly involving Vancouver, but an Island trip in there too.

If you have some time on your hands, and especially for you Christine, watch this movie.

Anyway, I'll post more about my travels and exploits, as the summer unfolds.

Song

2008-06-11T10:06:00.001-07:00

And a good one at that...

Click here to watch '08-saosin-i-never-wanted-to2'

Thanks

2008-06-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

...just a thanks to Saosin and From First To Last, for being great artists, and knowing the fuck how to say IT!

Two as One

2008-06-01T11:01:00.000-07:00

(by From First to Last)

Two as one
A slight addiction
Are we stuck in the routine of this
But still more nights they come and go
The world keeps spinning all I know I know
It's just you and me

Two as one
For all the nights we missed
Fuck if I wasn't such a pessimist
This chapter could've played out differently
One for all the nights we missed
Fuck if I wasn't such a pessimist
This chapter would've played out differently
This chapter would've played out differently

Dig behind the bones
To get down to the core
And how do I get into such a tight locked door
How many times can I take that look
The best outcome that's from the worst the worst of you and me

Two as one
For all the nights we missed
Fuck if I wasn't such a pessimist
This chapter could've played out differently
One for all the nights we missed
Fuck if I wasn't such a pessimist
This chapter would've played out differently
This chapter would've played out differently

Two as one
A slight addiction
Two as one
A slight addiction
One for all the nights we missed
Fuck if I wasn't such a pessimist
This chapter could've played out differently
One for all the nights we missed
Fuck if I wasn't such a pessimist
This chapter would've played out differently

Disappear

2008-05-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

In my plethora of choices,
Of unheard, inside, voices.
The sound of song, to which,
I hum along,
Is the loudest of the noises.

Now it's time...to disappear...

Maybe Misery

2008-04-24T16:20:00.000-07:00

By Quietdrive

Can you answer me?
No more time for questioning
My car's outside I want to leave
Don't you think I'm interesting
Well, I'm listening.

Everything's obvious
The way you put your hand on me
The way you talk so easily
The way your lips are glistening
Well, I'm listening.

You get around
You want me
You come around
You need me
But this time around
I won't be back at all

But maybe misery
Is what I need to keep my sanity
And I don't mean if things don't go my way
I'll be pleased to meet you

And maybe yesterday
Was the day that I could get away
Now today I'm stuck in sanity
And I'm pleased to meet you

Right now I think I'm sane,
But I'm really just anxious
To cross that bridge
The subconscious oasis
Where right is right
And wrong is wrong

And you aren't there
To build me up
You get around
You want me
You come around
You need me
This time around
I won't be back at all

Maybe misery
Is what I need to keep my sanity
And I don't mean if things don't go my way
I'll be pleased to meet you (pleased to meet you)

And maybe yesterday
Was the day that I could get away
Now today I'm stuck in sanity
And I've seen it all
I've seen it all
Many times before

Maybe misery
Is what I need to keep my sanity
And I don't mean if things don't go my way
I'll be pleased to meet you

And maybe yesterday
Was the day that I could get away
Now today I'm stuck in sanity
And I've seen it allI've seen it all
Many times before
Maybe misery (many times before)is what I need to keep my sanity (many times before)
And I don't mean if things don't go my way (many times before)
I'll be pleased to meet you (many times before)
And maybe yesterday (many times before)
Was the day that I could get away (many times before)
Now today I'm stuck in sanity (many times before)
And I've seen it allI've seen it all
Many times before

Grape Soda

2008-04-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

As it sinks,
Into my skin,
It reminds me,
Of the place I'm in.

The cold meeting the warm,
Watch it flow, feel it flow,
Watching the harm,
That can't be undone.

Take this all away,
Making sure, not another day,
Goes by.
And though I feel it,
Just don't want to believe it,
That's why.

Waking up,
Reality sinks in,
Giving up,
And releasing this skin.

Take this all away,
Just another fucking day,
As me.
I don't have to feel,
Just can't fucking deal,
With me.

As it sinks,
Into my skin,
The best fucking day of my life,
Is about to begin...

...

2008-03-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

...so, I was gonna put part two of this song/poem in here, it's called End of Dark Days: After Work Smoke part 2, but I can't honestly say that it's the end of dark days....oh well. :(

After Work Smoke

2008-03-01T17:51:00.000-08:00

Too angry to laugh,
Too stubborn to cry.
If you are half of me,
Then who am I?
Not seeing you,
Is the best part of my day.
The worst part, the irony is,
You're always in my way.
You're the reason for,
my after work smoke,
For half my life, you've been the worst joke,
That was ever played on me.
You don't see, the reason why,
Your son escapes, into the sky,
And dreams of being free.

Mac Guy Ver

2008-02-10T08:44:00.000-08:00

Ahhh...the Eighties...when mullets ruled, and guys with paper clips could save the world.

So...

2008-01-01T11:02:00.000-08:00

...I didn't do much for New Year's, went to Dead Guy's place, had a few drinks and such. Jimmy and Matt were there, but Matt left at six to look after his son, and Jimmy left at nine, cuz he was tired. Kristy and Ricki joined us for a little while, and that was good, got some female input. Watched Death Proof, another violent Tarantino film, it was fucked up, for sure. Lit a sparkler at midnight and that was about it, so Happy New Year everyone, I hope this year is better than the last.

New Year's Eve...

2007-12-30T11:30:00.000-08:00

...what to do?

Happy....

2007-12-24T10:04:00.000-08:00

...ChrisRamaHanaKwanSolstice everyone!

Movies...

2007-12-18T10:53:00.000-08:00

...which I seem to be going to a lot lately. Saw I Am Legend on Saturday, and Hitman on Sunday. They were both pretty good. I Am Legend was packed, and therefore a little annoying to watch. The way it was written, the plot goes back and forth from the moment the virus is detected and New York is quarantined, to three years later when Will Smith is alone in New York. Showing his separation from his family, to the present day. All in all, a good movie.
Hitman was a good movie, I didn't know anything about it going in, so I couldn't be disappointed, which I wasn't. It was smart, funny, and cute in all the right places. Some good fight scenes.

Silent Screaming

2007-12-14T06:34:00.000-08:00

Went out to Monashee's last night with Andrea, and it was fun. Walk in, get Id'd. Which is cool when you're pushing 30. Go out to the smoking area, find $10 sitting on the ground. Go to order drinks, my cousin is the bartender, makes me do a shot with him for free. Then, it turns out to be $1.75 highball night, so I showed up with $20, left with $17, had 6 drinks and one shot, one being a double. Then there was this drunken Aussie carrying a purse, he was so funny. Kept high-fiving everybody. Andrea showed me her tongue skills with marashino cherry stems, she tied 4 of them with her tongue. What a fun night!

And for the hell of it, a cute puppy picture....

So...

2007-12-10T16:48:00.000-08:00

...I went and saw The Golden Compass on saturday, and it was ok, not great, not bad. It is, of course part one, and thankfully they didn't leave it at a cliffhanger. It is very much a children's story, not as dark as they make it out to be in trailers. It was annoying as well, because children were of course watching it, and they don't seem to know manners at all. Talking throughout it, getting up a bunch of times, they should be banned from theatres. Or at least, supervised, or given their own theatre to watch it in, so the rest of us can watch a movie in relative peace and quiet. Of course, the parents do nothing about any of this behavior, as they seem quite inclined to do the same thing. One parent in particular I wanted to punch in the head, one of those "loud talkers," that seem to stalk me wherever I go. Do you realise how loud you are talking, or do you just assume volume means intelligence? We have defeated "survival of the fittest," but can't we at least carry guns for people like this? Their ignorance passes on to their children, and of course all of the good people have to put up with these morons.

Just like a favourite line from one of my favourite songs, "It's idiot season, let the hunting begin."-Neurosonic, So Many People.

Open Heart Purgery pt.2

2007-12-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

...But of all the things,
I've ever done,
With broken wings,
And all in fun.

You made me what,
I am today,
The arms I cut,
The price I pay.

Much love,
Has come between,
The hate I bury,
And the kill, unseen.

I am better now,
That we both know,
So take a bow,
So I may go...

Open Heart Purgery

2007-11-28T08:53:00.000-08:00

If you rip open my chest,
And look at my heart,
Your name is etched there,
Like a Grecian work of art.

If you rip out my eyes,
And look at my brain,
Your words live there,
In amongst the pain.

If you rip out my stomach,
And look inside,
You'll find your pain,
That I've tried to hide.

If you rip out my back,
And see clearly the pain,
From the stumps of wings,
That shall fly not again.

Dano '07

(wrote this last night)

Poetry Written in Gasoline...

2007-11-26T19:41:00.000-08:00

...which is an analogy for my life.
I guess my confusion subsided, but unfortunately someone got hurt. I didn't mean for this to happen, but it did. It has pretty much subsided now though, we are talking again.

I am starting anew, from scratch, like a good bread recipe, only more rising time required.
I am waking up slowly, and reaching out my hand, to grasp what I've always wanted and needed. Seeking my truth as only I can. Much more weight this time. This is the story of how one night can weigh a ton. A metric ton that is. Making long the nights, making short the days.
Stepping forward on pieces of glass, only to enjoy the pain for a little while. Lets me know I'm alive, or at least that's what they say. A little blood never hurt anyone. Much too much, for so little. Conversations with myself, I always seem to lose. Oh well, it's probably just the booze.
Waking up in someone else's bed, just to realize, I'm already dead.

Beowulf...

2007-11-22T12:57:00.001-08:00

...was pretty good, a little too much computer animation for my taste, but that's just me.
I've seen three or four movie adaptations of this classic story now, and I'd have to say this is the best one so far. Some of them are just crap, so the comparison isn't as great as you might think.

Lots to do in the next few days, Xmas party with Andrea, various dinner parties and such.

I'm glad for the conclusion to my insanity, at least in this case, it was/is a weird time in my life. Moving on, moving forward, moving sideways, just nice to move again. Sigh...girls...sigh.

Awesome...

2007-11-21T06:38:00.001-08:00

Which this picture states, and truly is awesome.

What isn't awesome are bartenders who can't make a paralyzer. It's not that hard people. It doesn't have to be cold, in other words, ice doesn't prevent it from curdling. You have an acid(pop) and a base(milk), if you have more milk than pop, it's not going to curdle. Milk is the main ingredient, not the pop. Trying to explain this to stupid blondes is of course futile. So, whenever I see that paralyzers on special, I refrain from having one, cuz it's just gonna be a lesson in futility.

Going to see Beowulf tonight, should be awesome!

Well, it's been a while....

2007-11-19T06:41:00.000-08:00

...and a lot has changed since my last post. No longer living in Vancouver, nor will I ever live there again. Ironically, I just came back from there, just a short trip.

I've been noticing the lack of evolution in former friends, or should I say friends that I once wished were more than friends. It's sad, but good in a lot of ways, because now I can clear that head-space for others. Some people, it seems, grew up too fast, and now just seem tired. Others still enjoy a good joint or drink on a tuesday, but don't seem interested in doing anything else.

Female attention has come back into my life a lot recently, which is strange, good strange of course. It leaves me questioning certain things though. Do they like me for me, or do they like me for their own self-esteems? Which one is less likely to annoy me? Not that I have to choose just one, but I don't really have the energy for more. Nor the funds to entertain more than one...ha ha! I have been called "hot," but I'd rather be called "kind," or "smart."

Anyway, maybe I'll post more soon, cuz I still have one friend that blogs, and now that no one really does, I have a little more freedom in doing so.

Well...

2007-05-22T11:34:00.000-07:00

Enjoy! It may be the last thing I post, maybe ever.

Christmas came early...

2007-05-17T23:47:00.001-07:00

Awww...come on...your eyes are drawn to the Hoff, aren't they?

On a serious note, the police have sent out an APB for Lindsey Lohan.
Here is an artists conception of what she may look like...

And now a kitty for some relief...

half bubble gum and half afghanis

2007-05-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

Ya!!! That Fucker's Dead. About fuckin' time. Evil Mofo!!!

When noontide warms the world, he will frolic in the sun.

2007-05-07T18:11:00.000-07:00

The Kids are still alright.

And All Our Yesterdays Have Lighted Fools the Way to Dusty Death

2007-05-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

Tragedy and Revolution bring people together.

-Dano

The Third Jimmy

2007-04-25T17:58:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna go off on a rant now, so bare with me.
You know what I hate, trends. They are sad, and completely control some peoples lives.
The trend I'm specifically talking about is...yoga. Now, I have no problem with yoga itself. I think yoga is a wonderful low impact way to get some athleticism back into peoples lives.
The problem I have with the "industry" is the amount of people(women) who buy all the LuluLemon gear, including the handbag, and don't actually do yoga. They just pretend to. You can tell the ones who don't actually do it. They're easy to spot. Why?
Because it's trendy. Because they all have to compete with each other to gain attention from other people. Because their self-esteems are based on how they look, not who they are as people, or their intelligence. These are the same people who end up bitter, and single at 40, because they have nothing else to offer the world.
The only trend I endorse is Suicide. Hopefully it becomes as popular as yoga.

Hot Sauce!

2007-04-07T10:33:00.000-07:00

I had a few requests for this one.

http://media.putfile.com/Hot-Sauce-58

2007-04-03T15:35:00.001-07:00

I heart Otters too!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybs0eJ3i3FU

2007-03-30T21:11:00.000-07:00

Some people are like car accidents, they're so ugly you can't help but stare in morbid curiousity, and wonder how they'll survive.

-Dano

Reincarnation Proven!!!!

2007-03-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

Three old men come back as cats!!!

2007-03-19T18:37:00.000-07:00

There's no such thing as growing up, just a slow recovery from childhood.
-Dano

"The Good Left Undone"

In fields where nothing grew but weeds,
I found a flower at my feet,
Bending there in my direction,
I wrapped a hand around its stem,
I pulled until the roots gave in,
Finding now what I’ve been missing,

But I know…
So I tell myself,
I tell myself it’s wrong.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.

All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.

Inside my hands these petals browned,
Dried up, fallen to the ground,
But it was already too late now.
I pushed my fingers through the earth,
Returned this flower to the dirt,
So it can live. I walked away now.

But I know…
Not a day goes by that I don’t feel it’s burn.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.

All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long,
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.

All because of you…
All because of you…

All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
Inside these arms of yours.

All because of you,
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
No, not the kind with halos,
The kind that bring you home,
When home becomes a strange place.
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.

By Rise Against

Those were the days...

2007-03-17T16:49:00.000-07:00

(from L to R: Wayne Gretzky, Jari Kurri(my fav) and Esa Tikanen)

(Grant Fuhr)

(Bill Ranford)

I know this season the Oil won't even make the playoffs, sad since they went to the finals last year, but I like to relive the glory years sometimes.

On a positive note, Rafael Nadal beat the sorest loser(next to McEnroe) Andy Roddick today in tennis action. I hate Roddick. Now it's the finals for Nadal. It's not a Major, but it's still good to see Nadal do well on hard court.

Machu Pichu

2007-03-16T10:32:00.000-07:00

Here Christine, some eye-candy for you.

The Melody and the Energetic Nature of Volume

2007-03-13T12:59:00.001-07:00

(where I'd like to be)

Only Freaks Need Apply

2007-03-13T12:31:00.000-07:00

"You understand...dentist?"

2007-03-12T13:52:00.000-07:00

Them vs You vs Me

2007-03-08T14:17:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Finger Eleven for releasing their new album on my birthday.
And thanks to my grandmothers and parents for the cards.
And a special thanks to Kristy for makin' my birthday sweet.

I had a smoke this morning for the first time in like 2 months. God!!! it was harsh and disgusting!!! Why did I smoke for fifteen years?? Oh...right, addiction. Seems so different than 2 months ago. I do love the patch though!!! Fun Fun!! Awesome dreams. Maybe I could smoke for three months then quit and go on the patch for three months. Ha Ha.

Yes...that's right...right there...perfect

2007-03-05T11:06:00.000-08:00

(stole this from Suzi...thanks Suzi)

Eclipsed

2007-03-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

We love our tragedies. We're both broken in our own little ways We're broken, but we fit together just right You know I saw the black inside your eyes I saw they were eclipsed by mine and they looked just right.

[Chorus:] When our lips meet, will you know me then And will you want to know it? It feels like I've known you for so long. When our lips meet, will you love me then and will you ever know it? It seems like you've known me for so long.

I love your analogies. We're both crazy in our own little ways We talk about the future and our past lives. I know I loved you then. I know I'd love you now. I know I'll love you then. I know I love you now.

[Chorus]

But you can't have everything you want when you want it. I will be everything you want, when you want it. Wait for me. Trust for me. Fall for me. Even when you don't know you're falling for me. Will you fall for it?

If it should, it'll come around again. But don't wait for me. And don't trust in me. Don't fall me. Even when you know you're falling for me.

[Chorus]

When our hearts meet, will we make it then. Will we even notice that they are eclipsed?

(by Evan's Blue)

2007-03-02T08:01:00.000-08:00

"It's ok, you don't have to go on."

"Oh thank God."

"You're welcome."

Phaedrus

2007-02-20T23:06:00.001-08:00

When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.

2007-02-20T23:06:00.000-08:00

Along the streets that lead away from the apartment he can never see anything through the concrete and brick and neon but knows that buried within it are grotesque, twisted souls forever trying the manners that will convince themselves they have Quality,learning strange poses of style and glamour vended by dream magazines and other mass media, and paid for by the vendors of substance. He thinks of them at night alone with their advertised glamorous shoes and stockings and underclothes off, staring through the sooty windows at the grotesque shells revealed beyond them, when the poses weaken and the truth creeps in, the only truth that exists here, crying to heaven, God, there is nothing here but dead neon and cement and brick.

-taken from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Imagine that you are in a feild of blowing flowers, blowing bubbles. What best describes the bubbles you are blowing?

2007-02-20T19:48:00.000-08:00

That was kind of a silly quiz...five questions...weird...spelling mistakes...how you life your life...who comes up with this...the title of this post was the last question it asked me...notice the misspelling...

The Avalanches

2007-02-18T15:12:00.000-08:00

Check out this video!!

2007-02-12T15:16:00.000-08:00

effort...what for? Existence? Nothing? you're lookin' good in your atrophy...am I?...why thank you...hate feels so good...addiction...rage...life awaits...who? What is this for? death...so good...like ice cream...itchy...stupid job...money...disgusting...I shouldn't be here...give it to someone else...they deserve it...I don't even want it anymore...ridiculous...like humans...humans you say? Yes!!! what they call humanity...it doesn't exist...sum of my parts...or some shit like that...what? I can't hear you...oh...that's fine...snakes biting in my dreams...but I killed them all...except the one with the three heads...it got away...where am I? someplace gross...they're all gross...ya, you're right...of course I'm right...what? oh, I just said I'm right...why do I keep hearing children playing? It's good I guess...I wonder what they're doing? It doesn't matter...I suppose not...funny...what's funny? oh, just this...what's this? This!!! oh, right...funny...something...something will happen...like death......

Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody...

2007-02-01T10:29:00.000-08:00

You should have ran for days
You embrace, you betray
I am sad to say, you're a sad cliche
But when you ran you tripped and fell
On a path that led you straight to hell!
This is the salt in your wounds
This is why I told you so

If you knew, what I know
Would you move, like you do
With malicious discontent you went about
hellbent to destroy but did you have a reason why?

Here's to lowering caskets of old friends,
Choice and consequence, we'll birth a new day
With the death of an old and start over, start over
Here's to burying hatchets in those who,
You never call your friends, we'll birth a new day
With the death of an old and start over, start over

Can you breathe in, reach in and let it out
The evil inside, that's eating you out, tonight!
With every venomous move,
I will suck you up and spit you out
Get out of my life, get out of my sight!

Here's to lowering caskets of old friends,
Choice and consequence, we'll birth a new day
With the death of an old and start over, start over
Here's to burying hatchets in those who,
You never call your friends, we'll birth a new day
With the death of an old and start over, start over

You let yourself get carried away
Don't act like your ashamed
You let yourself get carried away
Bow your head now accept the blame
You let yourself get carried away
Bury this with you a waste

And now it's time to see, what you don't mean to me
Now it's time to see what you don't mean to me
Now it's time to see what you don't mean

Here's to lowering caskets of old friends,
Choice and consequence, we'll birth a new day
With the death of an old and start over, start over
Here's to burying hatchets in those who,
You never call your friends, we'll birth a new day
With the death of an old and....

Bye Bye Gump

2007-01-28T09:48:00.000-08:00

When asked why he still didn't wear a mask, he was the second to last goalie to not wear a mask, he said,"My face is my mask."

Exactly what I would say. Bye Bye Gump.

So...I Don't Work At That Cum Stain Anymore...

2007-01-22T15:23:00.000-08:00

...and praise Allah for that! What a ridiculous place! It was sooo dirty there, disorganized, and the people who call out orders can't even speak english. Which is a big problem around here. So much so that help wanted ads specifically ask for english fluency as a requirement. Which gives me a lot of advantages.

Anyway, I now work at a GIANT bakery. Way better pay, union with benefits, a boot allowance...Wunderbar! It seems like a really great place. I'll tell ya'll more when I've been there a while.

I had this other job interview a couple of weeks ago with a corporate catering company. Their headquarters was in Electronic Arts, the video game company. Such a cool place. They have big screen T.V.s all over the place with previews of upcoming games. There's this whole electronic sign-in process, I got to wear a name tag, play some video games on the consoles in the lobby...lots of fun! One of the funnest interviews I've ever been to. (the chick interviewing me was pretty hot too!)

So tomorrow I start. But 2night It's Heroes! Yay!

Sooooo...cute

2007-01-18T15:51:00.000-08:00

I don't red meat much anymore...

2007-01-16T15:40:00.000-08:00

...but I sure love readin' it!

Nat Bailey blew, and created a White Spot...

2007-01-14T14:04:00.000-08:00

Hi ya'll! I have a job at White Spot now. I start tomorrow.
It finally stopped raining, and I like all the storms, and the snow.
People here are such morons, especially in the snow.
I quit smoking again, it's been 12 days. FUCK!!! I love smoking, but whatever, I don't really think about it all that much.

Anyway fuckers, have a good day!

Well, it's time to motor West...

2006-12-15T16:21:00.000-08:00

I'm off to New West tomorrow, with much excitement, and hope that the highway is open...

I want to wish you all Happy Holidays, best to you and yours.
I hope y'all have a great New Year's party to go to, or perhaps someone to share it with.

To all of those whom I didn't get a chance to talk to, or hang out with before I left, I'm sorry.

Cheers everyone!!

Less Than a Week to Go...

2006-12-10T07:43:00.000-08:00

Dano William Edward MacKay's Aliases

Your movie star name: Doritos Gordon

Your fashion designer name is Dano Prague

Your socialite name is Junior Gorg Miami

Your fly girl / guy name is D Mac

Your detective name is Cheetah Vernon

Your barfly name is Almonds Rye And Coke

Your soap opera name is William Edward Oriole Drive

Your rock star name is Licorice Earth

Your Star Wars name is Daned Macmeg

Your punk rock band name is The Good Marshmallow

The Amazing Meganame Generator

Here's some lyrics that I never knew...

2006-11-25T08:08:00.000-08:00

...until now.

Don't switch the blade
On the guy in shades, oh-no
Don't masquerade
With the guy in shades, oh-no
I can't believe it
'Cause you got it made
With the guy in shades, oh-no

"Fuck, I love mondays,"he screamed at an empty room.

2006-11-20T06:00:00.000-08:00

Genesis

2006-11-06T06:34:00.000-08:00

(thanks Kristy)

I love this pic!!

2006-11-04T07:46:00.000-08:00

(thanks Chris)

Happy Trails Sassy

2006-10-29T08:47:00.000-08:00

You were a good Kitty!!

You have to see this!

2006-09-23T13:54:00.000-07:00

This!

I heart Jacksons!

2006-08-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

Black Eye, Bloody Ear...

2006-08-25T08:34:00.001-07:00

I got jumped by 4 guys last night...
1 of them is now missing part of his ear...
They fought dirty, so I fought dirtier...

Babies are good...

2006-08-04T15:54:00.000-07:00

So here's one that is rather special.

And again.

Congrats you two, perhaps you'll inspire even me.

20 lbs of Bee Meat

2006-05-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

Lǎměi

2006-05-12T06:52:00.000-07:00

"I wanted to walk through the empty streets
And feel something constant under my feet,
But all the news reports recommended that I stay indoors
Because the air outside will make our cells
Divide at an alarming rate until our shells
Simply cannot hold all our insides in,
And that's when we'll explode
and it won't be a pretty sight
And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go"

(Taken from here)

(Niagra Falls frozen over)

Blind, Deaf and Dumb Boy

2006-05-08T06:46:00.000-07:00

(I went golfing with my boss on friday, and these are the views from there.)

(This is Chessy. She's a sweetheart)

(I picked up the new Tool album, and The Who's Tommy...hence the title of this post)

Praecipio totus Ego sum puter. Ego ingredior dim.

2006-04-26T06:45:00.000-07:00

Beavers, Dogs and a Kitty

2006-04-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

(notice the two attempts on two trees and one success on the one in bottom right)

(Kristy and I did some house sitting for her Dad and Step-Mom this weekend)

(Me and Sassy)

(I had all four puppies with me while I was napping)

Some Fun with Rain and Bums

2006-04-10T14:58:00.000-07:00

(here's the Bum)

(got a cactus in my shoe)

(here's the rain)

Shoe with a View

2006-04-07T14:35:00.000-07:00

Love is Suicide...Hill

2006-04-07T14:34:00.000-07:00

Kal Park Persuasion

2006-02-12T13:08:00.000-08:00

Dano in DC- Boot to the Head

2006-01-30T21:31:00.000-08:00

Andrea cleanin' off the SUV.

Andrea takin' a nap.

Luc's workin' on a motor.

Dano in DC

2006-01-28T14:49:00.000-08:00

Beaver Fever

2006-01-14T10:56:00.000-08:00

This is the same tree as the first pic.

Snow Yo!

2005-11-27T12:42:00.000-08:00

Snow Job

2005-11-14T08:02:00.000-08:00

Fun on the Farm

2005-10-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

It started at Bean 2 Cup with Spencer and his nephew Jager.

And then Chiri invited Kristy and I to a party.

Complete with dance floor...

...and funny things...

...and fire...

...and a drum circle...

...and a fire twirler...

...we ended our night at Dominoes for some pizza.

Walk, Cuz I Can

2005-10-18T18:32:00.000-07:00

(i hit the button by accident...)

There was a fire, not sure what exactly was on fire, but the fire department showed up.

Cobblestone Lane

2005-10-14T15:14:00.000-07:00

Mmmmm...Sandwich...

2005-10-04T20:38:00.000-07:00

Kristy and I decided to get a sub for dinner...

...it was fuckin' Huge...

...later I gave birth to a five-pound baby.

Saturday's Rewrite

2005-10-02T11:35:00.000-07:00